7.3.05

the knights who say ni! 


HEAD KNIGHT OF NI:  Ni!
KNIGHTS OF NI:  Ni!  Ni!  Ni!  Ni!  Ni!
ARTHUR:  Who are you?
HEAD KNIGHT:  We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!
RANDOM:  Ni!
ARTHUR:  No!  Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!
HEAD KNIGHT:  The same!
BEDEVERE:  Who are they?
HEAD KNIGHT:  We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Peng, and Neee-wom!
RANDOM:  Neee-wom!
ARTHUR:  Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
HEAD KNIGHT:  The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice!
ARTHUR:  Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives
beyond these woods.
KNIGHT:  Ni!
KNIGHTS OF NI:  Ni!  Ni!  Ni!  Ni!  Ni!...
ARTHUR:  Ow!  Ow!  Ow!  Agh!
HEAD KNIGHT:  We shall say 'ni' again to you if you do not appease us.
ARTHUR:  Well, what is it you want?
HEAD KNIGHT:  We want... a shrubbery!
ARTHUR:  A what?
KNIGHTS OF NI:  Ni!  Ni!  Ni!  Ni!
ARTHUR and PARTY:  Ow!  Oh!
ARTHUR:  Please, please!  No more!  We will find you a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT:  You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass through
this wood alive!
ARTHUR:  O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT:  One that looks nice.
ARTHUR:  Of course.
HEAD KNIGHT:  And not too expensive.
ARTHUR:  Yes.
HEAD KNIGHT:  Now... go!
by à[s]
Once again,

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Unknown disse...

The black knight

[King Arthur music]
[music stops]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaaagh!
[King Arthur music]
[music stops]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaagh!
GREEN KNIGHT:
Ooh!
[King Arthur music]
[music stops]
[stab]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Aagh!
GREEN KNIGHT:
Oh!
[King Arthur music]
Ooh! Uuh.
[music stops]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaaagh!
[clang]
BLACK KNIGHT and GREEN KNIGHT:
Agh!, oh!, etc.
GREEN KNIGHT:
Aaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!
[woosh]
[BLACK KNIGHT kills GREEN KNIGHT]
[thud]
[scrape]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Umm!
[clop clop clop]
ARTHUR:
You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
[pause]
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[pause]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT:
None shall pass.
ARTHUR:
What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
None shall pass.
ARTHUR:
I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Then you shall die.
ARTHUR:
I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT:
I move for no man.
ARTHUR:
So be it!
ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR:
Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT:
'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR:
A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT:
No, it isn't.
ARTHUR:
Well, what's that, then?
BLACK KNIGHT:
I've had worse.
ARTHUR:
You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT:
Come on, you pansy!
[clang]
Huyah!
[clang]
Hiyaah!
[clang]
Aaaaaaaah!
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR:
Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--
BLACK KNIGHT:
Hah!
[kick]
Come on, then.
ARTHUR:
What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
Have at you!
[kick]
ARTHUR:
Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR:
Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Yes, I have.
ARTHUR:
Look!
BLACK KNIGHT:
Just a flesh wound.
[kick]
ARTHUR:
Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Chicken!
[kick]
Chickennn!
ARTHUR:
Look, I'll have your leg.
[kick]
Right!
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Right. I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR:
You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT:
Come here!
ARTHUR:
What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT:
I'm invincible!
ARTHUR:
You're a looney.
BLACK KNIGHT:
The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR:
Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

terça mar. 08, 11:20:00 da manhã

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